


I'm okay

by starsandcoffee



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: I'm so sorry, Some blood and gore, don't hate me, major langst, nobody is happy rip, seriously all langst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 18:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10996068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsandcoffee/pseuds/starsandcoffee
Summary: Keith is captured by the Galra. Lance saves him, but all is not well.





	I'm okay

**Author's Note:**

> would you like a side of fries with that langst?
> 
> enjoy <3

“No!” screams Allura, voice breaking from the sheer volume of her cry. Her and the other paladins stand watching the Castle’s main screen in horror. On it, Keith’s face shows in high-def, and the ragged team stares in shock as it is replaced by the bloody boot of a Galra soldier. The camera pans perfectly, just so everybody can watch the Galra operative kick him in the stomach viciously, again and again. Keith chokes and spits blood, and they hear him choke “don’t come find me!” before he’s dragged off roughly.

The screen goes black for a minute, then Zarkon’s face appears, silhouetted against a backdrop of crackling purple lightning. “This is what happens when you work with traitorous organizations like The Blade of Marmora,” he growls, chuckling. “If the black lion is not handed to me within the next forty-eight hours, the Red Paladin will be destroyed.” He clenches his fist, and a plume of black fire erupts from it. The screen goes black for good. 

Everyone stands in silence. Hunk looks like he’s about to throw up. Allura stands, openly crying. Pidge is pacing, tight, uneven circles. Shiro is absolutely stone-faced, but his jaw is trembling. Lance is clenching his fists so tightly that his palms drip blood on the floor, but he doesn’t seem to notice. Coran looks shellshocked. 

“How did this happen?” whispers Allura. “It was just a routine mission with The Blade of Marmora for Keith. This is my fault for sending him alone.” Her voice cracks again, and she sobs — the paladins have never seen her act anything but dignified, so seeing her so broken is a shock. Shiro steps onto the podium and wraps an arm around her shoulders. She holds onto him like he’s her lifeline and cries into his chest. The other paladins are left to stand there, suddenly looking small in the vastness of the Castle’s main room. 

Allura stifles one last sob then visibly collects herself, pushing her shoulders back and her jaw up the way her father taught her. “We will get him back, paladins,” she promises. “Please meet me in the strategy room in fifteen minutes. We begin planning a rescue now.”

The paladins gather, still looking pale. Most of them have obviously been crying: tears track down Hunk’s face and even Shiro’s eyes are suspiciously red. Pidge stands dry-eyed, but her eyes are a void.

Pidge clears her throat and everybody quiets. “Here is what we are going to do to get him back,” she starts, voice high but clear. “Shiro, go down to Red’s hangar right now and ask her whether she can sense Keith from here.” Shiro nods, taking the orders for once, and leaves the room. “The rest of us are going to chart a plan of attack through a Galra mothership to the dungeons.” Lance sees in her the same steely resolve that’s gotten her this close to her family — sees the sleepless nights, the hours poring over data, the time spent searching through message boards for hints — and realizes that he has never, ever seen her cry. 

Pidge taps away at her tablet and pulls up a holographic schematic of a towering Galra ship. “This is likely the kind of ship he’s kept on,” she explains. Allura brightens — nothing calms her like a concrete plan — and they crowd around it, pointing at potential openings. Lance notices a unlabeled port near the bottom of the ship and smiles, intending to suggest it as a potential opening. “Hey, guys —” he starts, but Allura cuts him off almost immediately. “Now is not the time for jokes, Lance!” she snaps, and he shrinks back slightly. 

Shiro returns a moment later, reporting that the red lion has a general feel of where Keith is and will be able to tell if they are moving in the right direction, but that they are very far away. “Excellent!” exclaims Allura. “Lance,” she frowns, “please go find Coran and tell him to plot us a course based on what Red says. We can plan on the way.” Lance nods and exits the room. 

When he returns, he finds that the paladins have selected that tiny port as their point of entry. He shrinks into himself further and stands in the corner of the room. Nobody even seems to notice his return, and he listens to Hunk, Pidge, Allura, and Shiro strategize for almost two hours, not saying a word. They work together so perfectly: Hunk bounces ideas off them all, Pidge provides the technical expertise, Allura explains logistics, and Shiro keeps them all working cohesively. _Do I even have a place here?_ wonders Lance. He slips out of the room, and nobody registers his departure.

It’s only once he’s back in his room that the tears start falling. Lance punches the button that closes his door and sinks down against the wall, legs trembling suddenly. The pain he’s feeling knifes through him suddenly, causing him to ball up. _What the fuck’s the point?_ Lance thinks. _The other paladins are better than me. Blue and I don’t have a very strong bond, not like Keith and Red. I don’t have any special skills. I can’t even contribute to their discussions without being told to shut up._ He sobs violently: it’s almost a cough. Somewhere deep down, he expects that somebody will notice that he’s missing, come to find him, but nobody appears. Eventually Lance gives up and lies down on his bed, crying himself to sleep. 

He is woken several hours later by the crackle of the Castle’s intercom. He and the other paladins are instructed to come to the strategy room for a final briefing. It occurs to him that he doesn’t even know their plan of attack. _I probably won’t be necessary anyway,_ he thinks, rubbing his still-puffy eyes. 

The paladins congregate in the room quickly, dressed in armour, looking pale and obviously full of adrenaline. Allura explains the plan one last time. “Pidge will go in first and disable Galra comms and as much of the ship as she can without being noticed. Lance, Hunk, Shiro, it’ll be your job to get Keith. You enter in separate places, but you will meet here.” She gestures to the map, and three separate blue, yellow, and black lines appear. “Pidge will guide you and inform you if you will encounter a Galra patrol,” she explains. “Good luck.” 

Fifteen minutes later, Lance is in his paladin, flying silently through space towards the imposing, purple mothership. He pulls a picture out of his pocket and allows himself a moment of drifting as he stares down at the faces of his family, naming each one silently. He doesn’t allow himself tears, though: only razor-sharp focus on the task ahead. _I’m going to come back to you_ , he promises silently, and kisses the picture before putting it back in his suit, near his heart. 

He docks quietly near the port and jumps out of his lion. The others are docking at similar points all over the ship, and Lance hears them relaying their positions to Pidge and Allura over comms. Before he can inform them that he’s landed safely, he hears four Galra approaching, boots clicking. There’s no time to think, only act. He blasts one in the chest with his bayard, then ducks behind his lion’s leg and catches two in their throats before they have a chance to raise the alarm. 

He’s trying to drop the fourth when Shiro’s voice crackles over comms. “Lance, hurry up,” he exclaims. “Lance, buddy, we haven’t got all day,” adds Hunk. Even Allura chimes in. “Lance, please don’t let us down,” she says, sadly. Lance feels their words hit him like a bullet to the chest. “Sorry guys,” he says. “Here now.” “Good,” says Shiro. “Please try to keep up.” 

Lance finally takes the fourth down. “…I will,” he replies, quietly. Just then, Pidge interrupts. “All right guys, I’ve got comms down and some parts of the ship disabled. Let’s go! And Lance,” she adds, “please try not to clutter our comms. I need to talk to you all.” “Okay,” says Lance, refusing to let his jaw even tremble. 

He takes off at a run down the Galra ship’s corridor, heading for the point that he, Hunk, and Shiro have agreed to meet at. He arrives slightly out of breath, and greets the other two. “No time for greetings, Lance,” exclaims Shiro. “We’re heading this way, down towards the dungeons.” Lance nods. 

The trio runs at a steady pace for a couple minutes, pausing occasionally to avoid patrolling soldiers. All of a sudden, Pidge’s voice, high-pitched and nervous, comes over their headsets. “You need to get out of there, _now_ ,” she exclaims. “There’s a huge Galra brigade headed towards you. Turn around!” They whirl, intending to flee, but Pidge continues. “Oh god,” she says. “There’s men coming from the other direction too. You’re trapped.” 

Lance and Hunk pull out their bayards, and Lance watches Shiro arm his arm (ha, he thinks). Just then, a torrent of soldiers appears at both ends of the corridor, yelling. “Let’s go!” yells Shiro, and he runs at the approaching Galra, tearing at them with his arm. Hunk blasts at the others with his bayard, and Lance starts shooting as well. He’s clipping them in their heads or chests with almost 100% accuracy, but the onslaught is simply too much. He sees one of the soldiers in the back speak briefly over the Galra version of a radio, and the ship descends into blaring purple light. _Lockdown, lockdown_ , the gravelly voice exclaims over the intercom. 

“Oh, _shit,”_ yells Pidge, and nobody chastises her for it. Eventually, Lance manages to blast a tiny path through the masses and slip out the other side, leaving Hunk and Shiro fighting. _Even the Galra don’t notice me_ , he thinks, a wry grin touching his face. Indeed, no Galra soldiers appear to be pursing him as he tears down the corridor, trying to get to Keith before the jail is locked up completely. 

A solid ten minutes of panicked, adrenaline-fuelled running later, he arrives in front of a cold-looking set of locked black bars. He blasts the padlock with his bayard, and drops the waiting guards inside with easy shots. “Keith!” he yells, seeing the hunched figure in the corner of a cell. “C’mon,” he exclaims, “we have to go!” Keith stirs in the corner, raising a bloody hand to his face. “Oh god,” says Lance, “what did they do to you?”

Keith stumbles to his feet, holding a large slice in his arm closed. Lance blasts the lock off his cell and pulls him out, swinging one of his arms over his shoulder and holding his bayard with his other hand. “I’ve got him, guys,” he yelps, but nobody answers, caught up in the fight. “Let’s get you out of here,” he whispers to Keith, and the duo stumbles out of the room together. 

The corridor outside is oddly free of Galra, but they aren’t complaining. They limp down, moving at a painfully slow pace because of Keith’s injuries. A few soldiers appear in front of them, but Lance drops them one-handed. “The ship is locking down!” exclaims Allura. “You need to hurry back to your lions, now. Lance, _do not lose Keith!”_

They half-walk, half-run down the seemingly endless black-and-purple halls of the Galra ship, blood trailing from Keith’s arm and leg. His face is horribly bruised, and things have obviously happened to him that he doesn’t want to talk about. They turn down yet another hallway, Lance supporting most of Keith’s weight. That’s when the shot catches Lance in the back. 

He stumbles forward but doesn’t cry out, feeling the Galra beam tear through the side of his armour and into his back and stomach. The pain is blinding, and he feels himself nearly faint before he comes back to consciousness by sheer force of will. He turns around and fires at the patrol, missing a few times before he manages to hit them both. “You okay?” asks Keith. “Fine,” pants Lance, feeling blood ooze out of his side every time he takes a step. He doesn’t have a free hand to hold the wound closed, though, and it remains open and glowing a faint, concerning purple light. 

Voices crackle over the comms. “Lance, what happened to you?” asks Shiro. “Lance, you gotta hurry!” says Pidge, nervous. “Lance, what are you doing now?” asks Hunk, irritated. Lance grunts that he’s coming, the one word all he can manage. 

What feels like months later, Lance and Keith arrive at his blue lion. Lance can feel himself getting weaker with every step, and the blood is still gushing. His vision is blurring, but he just wants to finish this. 

They stumble into the lion. “Go, Blue,” whispers Lance, and his lion follows the command for him one last time. They soar out of the closing ship doors and into the void, where Keith can see Shiro’s, Hunk’s, and Pidge’s lions already spiralling back towards the ship. “We did it!” he exclaims. “We’re actually free!” Fighter jets pursue them, but they dock quickly and the Castle wormholes away. 

That’s when Lance collapses. It’s not a dignified faint like you see in the movies: instead, he flops ungracefully forwards, smearing blood on the floor as he lands. “Lance!” shouts Keith. 

“S’okay…” breathes Lance. “M’ fine, just give me a minute.” Keith is panicking. He flips Lance over and moves his blood-covered hand away from his stomach, gasping at the size of his wound. It’s easily a foot long, and pulsing both blood and purple light. Lance’s eyes flutter closed. “No!” screams Keith. “No, no, no! You’re fine, just breathe, you’re coming to a healing pod, just wait!” He wrenches Lance’s helmet off his head and yells into the mic there. “Allura! Lance is badly hurt. We need to get him to the pods _now._ Come and help me move him!” 

This job done, Keith turns back to where Lance lies prone on the floor, pale but still bleeding. He strips off his shirt and presses it to Lance’s wound, praying to every god he can think of. Lance is drifting in and out of consciousness. “It’s too late, Keith,” he whispers. “Hey,” he whispers, then stops to cough up blood. “Don’t cry,” he says, brushing the tears that are falling from Keith’s face onto his wrecked armour. “At least I get to die with you shirtless: it’s romantic,” he tries to laugh, but chokes instead.

“Lance, you’re fine, you’re fine! Just stop talking,” says Keith, pressing the shirt tighter over his chest. “Just breathe, breathe, don’t leave me, you’re going to be okay, help is coming!” 

Lance grabs Keith’s hand with surprising strength and moves it away from his wound. “Jus’ listen to me,” he chokes, blood bubbling at the corner of his mouth. “Don’ cry.” Keith’s tears are streaming. “Ssh,” Lance says. “I saved the better paladin, my job here is done,” Keith begins to protest immediately, but Lance puts a finger over his mouth. “One last thing before I go,” Lance whispers, his voice now so faint that Keith has to lean over him to hear. “Tell my family I love them, and I’m so sorry I didn’t come back.” Blue herself keens softly, sending an image of Lance’s family to Keith. “And don’t worry,” Lance finishes, “I’m okay.”

Keith is sobbing. Just then, the rest of the team appears in the doorway of the Blue lion. Blood is spread everywhere: Lance himself is covered in it, and Keith has bloody handprints on his chest and face. He’s cradling Lance’s head in his lap, whispering to him softly. “You’re here, finally!” he starts. “He’s going to be fine now, we just have to get him to a healing pod!” “Oh, Keith,” whispers Shiro, putting a brotherly hand on his back. “He’s going.” 

“What the fuck?” screams Keith. “You’re just giving up on him like that?” His tirade is cut short as Lance raises his hand slightly, eyes fluttering. “One more thing before I finally shut up,” he whispers, breath gurgling. “I’m…” he trails off. “I’m so sorry for failing the team again.” With that, his eyes flutter closed again. 

“No!” screams Keith again, voice cracking. “Please, the pods can still help,” he cries, checking Lance’s throat for a pulse again and again, finding nothing. “You can’t leave me, Lance,” he keens. “I love you, please, don’t go!” His raw display of emotion echoes in the silent cabin, too loud for the tiny space. “Lance, I love you,” he cries again, kissing the Blue Paladin’s face, trying to bring him back to life. Lance is silent and motionless.

All the paladins see a sudden tirade of images in their heads as Blue begins to grieve. They see Lance with his family as a young boy, frolicking through the water at some beach and exclaiming something in Spanish. They watch Lance as a slightly older kid, watching as a gorgeous dark-haired girl throws a sad, home-made bouquet of flowers at his feet. Blue shows Lance studying, and studying, and studying for his Garrison exams. They see Lance failing simulator session after simulator session. They see his “friends” ignoring him, his rivalry with Keith turning obsessive instead of joking. They watch him fly in battles, taking down ship after ship like he was born to do nothing else. They see Lance comfort tiny alien children, console their parents. And finally, they watch Lance carry Keith out of the Galra prison, his final act, just as unappreciated as all the ones before it. 

Blue finishes her torrent of images by booming words in English into all the paladins’ minds — the only time they have ever heard any lion speak in English. _You did not help him_ , she laments, then her broadcast changes into a keening wail. 

Almost as one, the paladins collapse to the floor. Keith still holds Lance’s head in his lap, whispering everything he never had the time to say to him. Shiro’s composure cracks for once, and tears track his cheeks. Hunk throws up in the corner of the room. Pidge kisses Lance gently on the cheek and folds his hands neatly over his chest, trying to ignore the gaping hole in his side. And Allura — Allura kneels at Lance’s side, apparently unaffected by the blood now covering her white dress. 

“We have failed you, Lance,” she begins, voice unbroken despite the tears covering her face. “We broke you down time and time again when you had done nothing to deserve it, refused to praise you for your successes. We have as much a part in this death as any Galra, and for that I will be eternally sorry.” Her voice breaks, and Shiro continues for her. “Lance, I pushed you harder where I should have helped you, told you to train more when you should have been resting. I am so sorry.” Pidge takes over their confessions. “Lance,” she starts, “I let my desire to find my family again blind me to how much you were struggling and ignored how you are — were — a brother to me.” Hunk finishes retching and straightens up. “Lance, I thought I was your best friend, but I was no friend to you at all. I shot down your concerns every time and ignored your ideas in favour of my own. Please forgive me.” 

Keith finishes their laments. “Lance,” he says. “I spent the last two years fighting with you, arguing every day out of some perverse desire to get closer to you by making you hate me. I never told you how much you mean to me, how this team needs you, how you are valuable and important. You’re only dead because I was stupid and got captured. This is all my fault.” He sniffs and drags an arm violently over his face, leaving blood smears behind. “Lance, I never told you that I love you.” 

Somehow, everyone expects that Lance will stir now that they are done saying everything they should have told him a million times already. Expects that their declarations of everything they did wrong will bring Lance — the glue that holds their team together, the only one who can make jokes at the exact right time, their sharpshooter — back. Lance’s body remains still, though, lying vulnerable in the middle of a pool of blood in the cockpit. 

Allura stands. “I am plotting a course for Earth now,” she says. “We _will_ deliver him with dignity to his family, and we _will_ explain to them every single thing we did wrong that led to this moment, and we _will_ bear their judgment.” The paladins nod, still crying, and begin to move Lance’s cold body out of what was once his lion’s cockpit. 

**Author's Note:**

> hey if y'all get this to 200 kudos, I'll write an alternate ending because I am also pretty sad about it :(


End file.
